Since Fifty Shades of Grey was first published in 2011 it’s been the book that everyone knows, whether you’ve read it or know someone that has, it's been the topic of many conversations and has shone a light on BDSM.
For those that don’t know “BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practising BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.” (Taken from Wikipedia)
Whether we discuss the relationship between Ana and Christian and whether it was healthy or delve into the pages of other books featuring this lifestyle it can be hard to remember that the relationships between the pages are complete works of fiction and a Dom/sub relationship is not all romance and flowers with a guaranteed happily ever after from the author.
That’s why I wanted to write this post, I wanted to openly share that I myself have had experiences surrounding the world of BDSM that I wouldn't want others to have and believe it's good to have all the information you can receive, after Fifty Shades of Grey was published the genre became one the most wanted in the world, many were newly discovering the books daily and being drawn towards a lifestyle that was always so private and not talked about at all. Femdom near me provides a place for you to find a BDSM community.
If you have wanted to experience this world I’ve written some safety pointers below on how you can be safe online. Safety is key when dating online but especially in BDSM.
Always do your research - Reading different books is great but check out different BDSM sites and chat to people online in forums and don’t be afraid to ask questions. The more you know the better.
Always get consent (this is important ALL THE TIME)
Communicate openly, honestly, and clearly - be open in what your expectations are, be honest about how you feel both before and after, and be clear about what is acceptable for you.
Have a safeword so if things get too much you can trust that everything will be stopped right away. Have it be something you will remember and repeat it to yourself or have it be an object placed in your line of sight.
Make sure you are aware of your surroundings at all times, never do anything under the influence of alcohol as it can affect your judgment.
Build trust - if you want to date and experience new things always make sure it’s with someone you trust. This is no different from online dating, get to know someone first before committing yourself completely.
If you feel like you’re ready to get started and have done all your research why not try looking for mistress near me or whichever role you are looking for.
No matter what you’re looking for in someone, never rush in, always take your time and take it easy and remember that books are mainly fictional and always there to enjoy if this isn’t for you.
Are you a fan of BDSM in books? Let me know below.
I have to say that the steaming pile of crap that is 50 Shades did the BDSM lifestyle no favours. I've been in the lifestyle for a long time and what goes down in 50 Shades is abuse, not consensual BDSM. Always remember the BDSM mantra - Safe Sane and, above all, Consensual. Check out a non fiction book called Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns if you are a newbie who is interested in BDSM.
ReplyDelete